Things One Can Do In A Lift
o Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your Kleenex to other passengers.
o Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"
o Whistle "It's a Small World" incessantly.
o Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"
o Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
o Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
o When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
o Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!"
o Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
o On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
o Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"
o When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!"
o Meow occasionally.
o Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
o Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!"
o Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
o Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.
o Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
o Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
o Burp, and then say "mmmm...tasty!"
o Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.
o Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"
o Whistle "It's a Small World" incessantly.
o Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"
o Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
o Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
o When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
o Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!"
o Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
o On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
o Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"
o When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!"
o Meow occasionally.
o Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
o Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!"
o Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
o Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.
o Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
o Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
o Burp, and then say "mmmm...tasty!"
o Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.
